Blunt Dating Advice for the Married Man
You won’t find much dating advice for the married man on the Internet. This is because most people, relationship and dating experts included, will tell you that it’s just not a good idea to still be a married man and begin dating. In some cases, like a legal separation or a marriage that has long since died, men will go ahead and date anyway.
I’m not going to give you advice on what you already know – it’s dangerous and not a good idea to date as a married man. But that being said, if you intend to date while you are married, you should keep several things in mind.
Don’t Mix Business and Pleasure
If you’re going to have an affair, for heaven’s sake don’t have one at the office. I can’t stress this dating advice for the married man enough. This is a great way to get fired, sued for sexual harassment or simply get caught. It’s complicated enough if you’re going to try and date someone while you’re still married, but doing it where you both have to work increases the odds of disaster if you break it off down the line.
Be Honest With Yourself
If you become involved with someone other than your wife, don’t tell the woman you’re dating that “the marriage is over,” or “I’m filing for divorce” unless you really mean it. Some women want nothing more than an affair with a married man, and if you are both adults it may work out. But others live in the hope that you’re going to leave your wife for them – and if you lead them on, they will be sure to make you suffer for betraying them when they figure it out. Take my advice: find someone who is willing to accept only what you are willing to give.
Don’t Ever Involve Your Children
Dating advice for the married man wouldn’t be complete without taking children into consideration. Even if you and your wife are battling it out in court or have already decided the marriage is over, your affair should be discreet. You will only wind up earning your children’s contempt if you ask them to keep your secrets or try to convince them why you need this other person instead of their mother. Wait until your divorce is final – or not at all – to allow the person you’re dating to meet your children.
Risk Taking Sounds Better than It Is
An illicit affair may seem exciting at first, but dating while married becomes more dangerous as time goes on. Some men ignore this dating advice for the married man. They like this aspect of it so much that they escalate the stakes as time goes on. For instance, meeting more often and at riskier times of the day and night. It might seem thrilling to risk getting caught – until you do get caught. Then the pain, and the ensuing damage it can do in everything from a divorce case to your professional reputation, can be overwhelming.
Safe Sex, Safe Sex, Safe Sex
I can’t repeat this little dating advice for the married man enough. You may tell yourself it’s in an exclusive relationship, but it’s not. There are at least three people involved now, and you owe too much to any woman in your life to take a risk that could harm either of them. And frankly, you may never know the complete sexual history of the woman you date – she has a past, just like you do.
Don’t Trade on Friendships
If you decide you just can’t wait to get a divorce before dating again, that’s fine. But don’t ask your friends to lie for you or cover for you. If they don’t approve, you’ve put them in the position of having to turn you down or betraying their own beliefs about dating and married men. Take my advice; either option will scar your friendship.
I guess you can tell that, although I’ve offered some solid dating tips for the married man, I’m not a guy who believes its easy (or a good idea) to date while you’re married. But if you keep my free dating advice for the married man in mind, at least you’ll minimize the risk and the chance of hurting others. Good luck.
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