Dating Tips for Single Moms Advise Caution

There is nothing more important than being a parent, which is why my dating tips for single moms focus as much on the family as on the dating process. It’s a scary step for anyone who hasn’t been single for a while to start dating again, but for moms it’s even more intimidating. Questions like, “What if he doesn’t like kids?” and “How do I tell my children?” abound. I’ve put together some rules that will make it easier to make the decision to enter the dating world again.

Dip Your Toes Before Diving In

It may be tempting to move quickly when you start dating again, but “move slowly” tops my list of dating tips for single moms. Remember, you’re just getting back into meeting people again and you have plenty of time. You also have a child or children at home who may need some time to adjust to the idea of their mom having any kind of special friendship. If he’s worth it, he’ll wait and understand.

I mean keep it simple for your kids, especially at the beginning. They absolutely don’t need to meet every guy you go out with. It will only confuse them and they may get attached to someone you’ll only be breaking up with a few months down the road. Simply tell your kids that you’re going out with a friend. They don’t need details at first, and you may just cause them to resent your personal life if they feel threatened. When it’s time to introduce your man to your kids, you’ll probably know.

Don’t Ask Too Much Early On

Remember, on the first several dates the man wants to get to know you, not your whole family. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell him you have children – on the contrary, one of the most essential dating tips for single moms I can give is to be honest. But don’t expect a man you’ve only recently started dating to slip into the role of “new daddy.” He needs time to really assess how he feels about you before he commits to being someone special in your children’s lives.

Don’t Let Guilt Get the Best of You

When you’re a single mom, dating tips will be thrown at you thick and fast. They’ll range from “look for someone the opposite of your ex,” to “you shouldn’t date anyway – you’re too busy with the kids.” Lots of these dating tips for single moms are really just ways to throw a wrench into your moving forward.

You are an attractive single woman – of course you want to date! It’s one of the best ways of interacting with other adults who you care about. Someone (perhaps your mother, a neighbor or even a co-worker) may try to make you feel guilty by reminding you that your children are “only little once,” or that you should always be there for them. Not so! Being a good parent includes being a well-rounded individual, and if anybody deserves the occasional evening out, it’s a single mom! So go out, have a good time and trust your babysitter to take good care of your children. This means not calling home every hour for an update. Enjoy yourself, and the man you’re with will understand that you are confident and ready to date.

Surprises Aren’t Good

I’m talking about the kind of surprise that can really confuse children. Don’t let a man stay over if you haven’t talked about it with your kids, especially if they won’t know in advance. Your children will be upset, possibly even scared, if they’ve never seen a man rambling around the house in the morning and wake up to it one morning without warning. Make sure you and your children understand the boundaries and are comfortable with the idea before any sleep-overs.

By following these dating tips for moms, you’ll able to maneuver the minefield of emotion that can come with dating as a single parent. Then, when you’re sure of him and he’s come to know and love your children, the rest will be easier.