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Dating Tips for Women in the 21st Century

You can find dating tips for women everywhere – on the Internet, in books and magazines, you can get tons from your friends and relatives. But lots of what they’ll tell you is either too out of date (throw Mom’s advice out the window, please) or not based on the realities of today’s dating scene. So I’ve put together some dating tips for women that are relevant and will help you establish a good relationship quickly.

Be Relaxed, Entertaining and Completely Yourself

Going on a date is not a chance for you to interview the man as a potential mate, and it’s not an opportunity to pretend to be stand-offish and aloof and the mistaken notion this will intrigue him. You may have read advice and dating tips for women suggesting flirtatious games that involve confusing the man to make his head spin with interest. Not only doesn’t it work, it will probably back-fire. If he can’t relax and enjoy your company, he will move on quickly. If he didn’t like you the way you are, he wouldn’t have asked you out in the first place.

Be Aware of Your Body Language

If you’re a bit nervous, you may withdraw physically without realizing it (crossed arms, leaning back in your chair, etc.). Be sure to lean forward so that you can talk easily. As the date progresses, if you have to urge to put your hand on his arm while making a point, go ahead. It’s warm and friendly and will encourage him to open up. But don’t plaster yourself to him like wallpaper during the evening – it can be misinterpreted and come off as either overly sexual or clingy.

Don’t be Suspicious and don’t Interrogate

If you’re at the table talking and another young woman walks up to say, “Hi,” to him, be gracious. It could be his cousin, an old college friend or just about anybody. After she leaves, resist the urge to quiz him on who it was and why she stopped by. (Of course, if he was being a real gentleman, he would have been sure to introduce the two of you, but nerves can make anyone slip up).

Don’t Make Him Run

Remember these dating tips for women: your man is a date, not a priest or confessor. Regaling him with tales of your terrible week, how much you despise your neighbor’s dog and your unfortunate arguments with your folks will send him running. The man is hoping to enjoy your company – not hold your hand through the train wreck of your life.

Avoid Generalizing about Men

Dating Advice for Women Generalizations about men seem to pop out of many women’s mouths at odd times on dates. I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s nervousness and a lame attempt at humor, but a lot of men won’t be as forgiving. Comments like, “Oh, that’s okay, you’re just a guy, so what would I expect?” label you as a man-hating, bitter woman. Not a pretty picture. This leads into more dating tips for women...

Please Keep the Sarcasm to a Minimum

Yes, your friends probably think you’re a riot – they know you very well. I don’t. Sarcasm requires a thick skin, and as a guy I won’t be wearing my thick skin on the first date (I’ll be nervous and leave it in the closet). So be kind and use the gentle side of your sense of humor. I want to laugh with you – and I definitely don’t want to feel that you’re laughing at me.

End the Evening on a Positive Note

Dating tips for women are usually all about the event itself. I’m going to suggest how to end things for the evening. Be the first to suggest ending the evening on a first date. No, this isn’t a ploy or trick. Quite simply, many men aren’t sure when to end that first date, especially if they’re having a great time. But as the evening turns to late night or early morning, they may have passed that point where it seems natural to say good night. After a few hours together that have gone well, say something like, “This is great, and I’d love to stay out for hours, but I have an early appointment tomorrow (or I’ll have to be up early to jog, walk the dog, etc.). Why don’t we pick this up another time?” This ends the date on a positive note, while you’re still having fun, and lets him know you would like to hear from him.

Should I Call Him After the First Date?

Yes, you can call a guy after a first date. Just not later that night or at 8:00 AM the next morning. Most guys will call you back in a few days, but sometimes they are simply so busy they don’t get to it right away. After three days, feel free to call and say hello. Ask if they want to have coffee sometime. The answer you get will tell you where you stand. If the response is good, congratulations. If he isn’t interested, take the hint and move on. Never call a second time if he isn’t calling you. You deserve better than that!

Keeping these dating tips for women in mind when you’re prepping for that all-important first date will put you in the right frame of mind. It will also mean you don’t waste too much of your valuable time on the wrong guy. Good luck and happy dating!




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